The other day I was at what is possibly the best place ever – a little shop in Naperville called Cookie Dough Creations – where you can eat raw cookie dough, and get this! you don’t even get salmonella! (totally unrelated side note, but does anyone but me think salmonella just sounds like a fish putting on airs?? Stupid fancy she-fish.) Anyways, there I was minding my own business, shoving peanut butter cookie dough down my throat as fast as my little hands can, I mean, daintily enjoying some cookie dough, like a lady, when I overhear the following conversation:

(First some background, I overhear these four college students referring several times to buildings on campus leading me to deduce that they go to Wheaton College, the school that I, for better and worse, also attended.  Normally when I hear people speaking about Wheaton College I break out in hives and quickly duck the other way)

Girl #1: Do you guys know professor so-and-so?

Boy:  Yeah, he’s always working out at the fitness center!

Girl #1:  Yeah, and he’s always wearing those creepy widowers!

Girl #2:  Wait… what?

Girl #3: Hold up, I think you mean a black widow?

Girl #1:  Wait, no, a black widow is a spider, and I think a widower is too.  And a widower is also someone whose spouse died, what do you call those shirts?

Boy:  A wife beater?

Girls:  Oh, yeah!

Girl #2: That’s kind of a creepy name, besides what do they call them when girls wear them?

Boy:  When girls wear them, it’s just a tank top.

Girl #2:  Oh.

AND these are the quality people we are churning out of our liberal arts colleges.  Which means in a couple of years they will be applying for the same jobs as me, making me look awesome.  Hooray.


3 responses to “Inanity

  1. Hey, I was there the other day and heard the EXACT SAME conversation! How weird is that?! Oh, wait.

    Spending the day with you & your kid (and your Pat too) was the funnest day I’ve had in a long time. Thanks.

    • congrats fellow liberal arts grad, we are gonna have awesome jobs in like 3 years!

      thx for hanging out with me! It was super and I loved it. Next time bring Toby!

  2. The problem with this approach is that it hurts students and colleges in the same breath, and is beginning to perpetuate some bothersome trends for both parties. As an admissions counselor at a mid-sized, public liberal arts college, I cannot tell you how many times I speak with admitted students in April — just days before the national May 1st acceptance deadline — and hear them say they are torn between my institution and a 50,000 student research university located across the country.

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