that is what I used to say when I was little and, apparently, happy. And that is how I feel when I look at my puppy. I know in previous days I used to discuss my kitty quite a lot on this blog, and don’t get me wrong, Coco Carlos Jose Calico King is doing quite well for his 16 years.
But in the mean time I have acquired a dog. We saw him quite by accident when we were going to Petsmart to buy cat food, unwittingly walking into any animal lover’s nightmare – ADOPTION DAYS!
so many kittys! so many puppies! All jumping up and down and wagging and screaming, pick me! pick me!
Except this dog. He was about full grown, 10 months old, and 65lbs. A big, black dog. I’ve been told they are the least likely to be adopted. And he had the saddest eyes I have ever seen. When all the other dogs were jumping and licking he just met my eyes from the corner and the only thing that changed was the very tip of his tail did a little half hearted thump-thump-thump.
I lost it.
He was the saddest dog I had ever seen.
It turns out he was the last of a litter of puppies abandoned on a mountain in Chattanooga, the rest had been adopted. He had actually been adopted and then returned. It might have had something to do with the submissive peeing. Oh yeah, he had some issues. He was very, very afraid. and when he’s afraid he just wants to let you know that you are the boss… like so much so that he would roll over and piss on himself to prove it to you. yeah, dogs sense of order is a little fucked up. It was particularly irritating the first couple of days before we realized he was potty trained, just scared, and thus yelling at him to stop, when the only reason he is doing it is because he is afraid in the first place, probably not the best idea.
I have made the following diagram to clarify.
What we would have cleaned up if we had just pretended to ignore the peeing:
What we had to clean up because Pat followed him around the lroom saying “no:”
So I can see how the average person might not want to deal with this..
In fact, I want to thank the person who adopted Beau and decided it was too much to deal with and brought him back. You probably ended up with a puppy who still peed all over your house and I got the best dog ever, who got over the peeing relatively quickly once he decided I wasn’t going to shiv him every time he turned around.
Second, being a large dog, one could reasonably assume that he required a large amount of exercise. The lady who was fostering him assured me quite the opposite. “This,” she said “is a couch dog. He just wants to curl up next to you and watch movies all day.” To this day, I don’t know how she could possibly have known that that is how I would spend every day all day if allowed, and to be honest, I didn’t 100% believe her.
I mean a dog capable of looking this beastly:
could hardly be satisfied doing this:
or this, this or this:
right? I mean this is seriously the laziest dog I have ever met. Clearly, it suits us just fine.
By now you have realized this is a seriously handsome, lazy dog. Perhaps at this point you are wondering what kind of dog could be so great… Well, the best we can figure is that he is some kind of Boxer and Hound mix. Maybe a Redbone Coon Hound? The foster mom told us the mother was definitely part Boxer and we think hound because, well, it was Tennessee, and that would account for the laziness.
All in all, Beau is just a really great dog. He doesn’t pee (anymore), doesn’t bark, doesn’t chew, doesn’t jump people, stays off drugs… he is just the best best dog. SO in honor of this mongrel we tried to name Seymour Glass but it didn’t stick so we kept the name the rednecks gave him – Beau Duke – I am starting Goggy Mondays! Check the blog every monday for a new photo of my favorite, and your soon to be favorite boxer hound mix doggy. He is very photogenic.
I was remembering how when the timing just wasn’t right for me to get a dog, I was admiring this woman ..(at the bottom of the page) and while I wasn’t trying to copy her, looking at these photos with my perfect green couch and my perfect big dog, I realized.. I am kind of living my dream right now.