Why I’m back… (bitches)

Reasons I am totally going to blog all the time again… reliably.  Without quitting this time.  For reals, guys:

1.) I am a bright shining star.  I am pretty sure nobody else has ever been quite as witty and interesting as I am.  And the internet could always use more narcissistic bloggers.

2.) I am pregnant, thus I am going to be a mommy!  (although I will probably just go by mom.  Mommy is a little weird)  I have also noticed a shortage of witty mommy blogs on the internets.

3.) I do other interesting stuff, like work at a zoo with animals and at elementary schools with kids (kids whom I did not even birth through my soon to be gaping birth canal), who reliably do interesting and amusing things.  I can tell you these anecdotes sometimes.

4.) I have opinions.  Lots of them.  About music and film and art and stuff.  Sometimes I even listen to other people’s opinions and pretend to change my mind.  Like for an example:  My husband really likes Dave Matthews Band and I do not.  Sometimes when he is listening, I stare into the distance and say hmm.. as if I am reconsidering, but I am not.

5.) I am real good at messing up photos on photoshop to illustrate my posts.  Consider this a bonus.

6.) My husband is tired of listening to me talk.

7.) If lots of people read this blog, which they totally should, I can add advertising and stop trying to decide if there is a market for pregnant strippers, because let’s be honest, how else am I gonna pay for this kids college?