Stat-a-whore-us Rex

I am constantly amazed by checking my blog stats. This is my first real blog, so please excuse me if I’m all “Holy shit, how did they get here from there?” and “Hey, look what I can do!” and “Dammit! Still not enough readers to kick back and quit my disgruntling day job.” Read people, read! we are talking my sanity here!

Hands down though, I think my favorite part is reading the search terms that people use to find me. Below are some of my favorites:

“cat smother baby face” ← just disturbing.

And I mean, I know that Patrick’s a bit weird, but really, “what would it be like living with mutant” may be going a bit overboard. On second thought, I take that back. I totally understand how you got here.

While I fully appreciate that they are looking for “drug addled eyes” what they found on my site to match that I am literally clueless. May I suggest you try here or here

Then there’s the classic, “funny pictures, man with bottle up rear” As previously mentioned, this one stands alone.

Then these two, that make me chuckle sadistically: “can centipedes crawl out of drains” and “how to stop centipedes from coming up tu” because imagine their faces when they read my post about THE CREEPY AS HELL CENTIPEDE which crawled out from behind my showerhead. Haha. It totally does happen and there is nothing you can do to stop it!

“towel art making” Actually this one leaves me a little curious. What exactly is that? And are they referring to this book?

Because that’s a little creepy since I was just looking at it on Amazon the other day and it kind of makes me feel watched…

Then, the other day I got these: “BRED PITT” and “BRAND PITT” Are you serious? You don’t know how to spell his name? It’s probably on the cover of every magazine in the grocery right now, in BIG letters! And they aren’t just misspelling it, they are MISSPELLING IT! Because that is how excited they are. Although actually, “bread pitt,” I would totally eat.

Now for a sad confession. The two most common searches that lead people to my front door are: “FUCK YOU” and “Man bitches”
Not just a little, hey, fuck you man. But a full blown, all caps “FUCK YOU!” Am I really that full of rage? And I know I had a tag that was “bitches, man, bitches,” but those commas were integral. Not Man-bitches. Bitches, man. And then to reiterate, bitches.

So to all of you who come to my page in hopes of seeing my myriad man bitches, my sincere apologies. And this picture that pat will probably make me take down when he gets home from work and sees it. Cheers!


Guess which one I married.

if you are in the picture, you are automatically cool and thanks for coming to our “what to do for 22” party. if in your heart of hearts you don’t want my VAST blogging public (ie, me and my brothers) to see this picture, let me know and I will highlight and make a closeup of just you err, take it down.

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8 responses to “Stat-a-whore-us Rex

  1. Hehe, they are a neverending source of entertainment. I’ve been keeping a list of all search engine terms with a view of turning them into….. something, some day…. I’m just waiting for a few more of the completely off the wall variety to make up a decent bunch…

  2. ooooh, goody, I am so excited. I’m sure if you post yours I will find them equally amusing

  3. aaaaaahh hahahahahahahaha!

  4. omg i swear i just threw up a little when i saw that picture….bad times kids…bad times….i’m just glad all picture taking ceased about 30 minutes into the party because we were all DRIZZUNK!!!! good job summer and sam, good job!

  5. Yeah, I had someone find my blog the other day by searching for “what music did betsy ross listen to”. Just a guess, but I’m gonna go ahead and say she wasn’t a P.Diddy fan. (Is that his name these days? I can’t ever remember.)
    Also, Pat is still hot even with the eye shadow. 🙂

  6. after what to do at 22 i never had tequila again, except with walter payton’s son once.

  7. hi this is john will you married with me

  8. пидоры
    pedics

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