nothing ever happens to me

My friend said all I talk about is my pets. So this post, no pets.

June 8, 2007 · 10 Comments

Sunday I will be married for a year. So far neither of us has had an affair, which already puts us ahead of my parents (who stayed married afterward for 23 more years). Although Patrick has told me that he’s currently accepting applications. (to all you would be applicants, be forewarned, he does pick his nose. On the up side, he’s a great kisser.)

Anyway, for our one year anniversary we are taking a trip to Hot-lanta! Yay! We are going to the zoo, and botanical gardens, and the zoo, and eating at an organic Thai restaurant. The restaurant has a goldfish pond. Did I mention we are going to the zoo? I already have my menu picked out at the Thai restaurant too. Green chicken curry, Tom-Kha (coconut soup), and Ka-nam Mhor-gang (sweet rice in coconut custard). I convinced Patrick that he should order the crispy basil duck, since that was the other thing I really really wanted. I am so excited for food. I love food. I have always loved food. Seriously, if you ever want to ask me a favor, like to carry out a hit for you, or donate my kidney, sit me down for a nice meal and afterwards I will be unable to refuse. or take me to the zoo.

So, amongst other things, I am buying Patrick these, because they may just be the coolest things I have come across in a really long time:
animals fucking on mugs
On first glance, innocent enough, however look closer. Is it wrong that the penguins are kind of turning me on?

For more pictures and a very amusing description, check out fussy.org, which is where I got the idea.

On the plus side, imagine how much fun it will be to serve tea to unsuspecting guests and wait to see if they will notice… like my mom. $50 says no, no she won’t.

I have included the following links, so that you can follow along, and pretend that you are the on our date with us. Go in order, starting about 1:00 pm on Sunday.

The botanical gardens. peruse this website until about 5, when you should start getting ready for dinner.

At 7:30 go to Le Thai. Make sure you request a table by the goldfish. and drink wine. lots of wine.

Spend all day Monday here Atlanta Zoo!

…possibly stop by Ikea on your way out of the city because, it’s there. and it’s Ikea. and you eat cheap swedish furniture for breakfast.

Categories: I'm still married-whew! · We're going to the Zoo! · animals fucking on my new dishware! · anniversary · botanical gardens · funny mugs with animals getting it on · funny penguin orgy · one year anniversary · organic thai restaurant · thai food

10 responses so far ↓

  • max // June 8, 2007 at 5:53 pm | Reply

    Those are very funny.

  • max // June 8, 2007 at 5:53 pm | Reply

    [I mean the cups not the dates]

  • Vanessa // June 8, 2007 at 7:07 pm | Reply

    My mum wouldn’t notice the cups either. I would. I kinda like the bears.. does that make me obvious?

    I have a zoo fetish. I am jealous……

  • sumbum // June 8, 2007 at 7:24 pm | Reply

    Hi Max & Vanessa! The original post on fussy is very funny. and a lot of people commented saying that they had these cups growing up and didn’t realize until they were well in their teens what was actually going on. funny.

  • sama // June 9, 2007 at 1:44 pm | Reply

    sum, those are like the dishes in birdcage with the gay men on them. except for with sexually-non-descript animals. i hope that wasn’t really off color of me to say. does anyone know what i’m talking about?

    happy anniversary kids!

  • Maggie // June 11, 2007 at 4:51 am | Reply

    happy anniversary. i love you both.

  • jantirak // June 12, 2007 at 7:50 pm | Reply

    One whole year eh?…i guess i lose the bet. j/k, j/k.

    i bet i wouldn’t notice the mugs…until about a month later, and then i’d think it was hilarious when everyone else got bored with them already, except it wouldn’t be boring anymore because when could sipping tea while looking at penguins screw ever boring?!?!?

  • sweet betsy ross // June 13, 2007 at 12:03 am | Reply

    Happy anniversary, you two! I hope the next year is even better than the first. And confession, I would like Pat to pick me for the whole extramarital affair thing. Just let me talk to my husband first….

  • sumbum // June 15, 2007 at 2:46 pm | Reply

    and you know what, I would totally support you in your aspirations, because I just know that you are the sort of girl who would totally buy me things and take me places to alleviate your guilty conscience. now if we can just get the hubs on board.

  • samantha jo campen // June 21, 2007 at 12:29 am | Reply

    Happy Belated Anniversary!

    Are you trying to be like me and Bryan (and really, who could blame you)? Cuz we ALWAYS go to the zoo for our anniversary. Aaaaaand talk to all the animals in their ‘native’ tongue.

    Wow. We’re big big dorks.

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