Dog Blog Guest Appearance

Guest appearance by my cousin’s dog, who I think is adorable.  She shuffles around the house like Fizgig and is named Sameena, which apparently means “Precious Expensive.”  I want one for Beau to eat play with but Pat says no.

What is definitely going to happen in Lost Season 6

I’m not gonna lie, I had a hard  time getting into Lost.  Part of it was that I had this pretentious douchy roommate who was obsessed and would blog on her super cool Lost blog (if you’re reading this, former roomie, go fuck yourself!  oh, and say hi to your mom for me!)  Part of it is that polar bears, smoke monsters, Benjamin Linus’s oddly rodent like face, what?!?

But the hub liked it and I have long periods of staring straight ahead while nursing a baby so I have been catching up on a lot of TV.  First season was excellent then it got a little meh, but now I am how excited for the new season? Sooooooo excited!

In honor of the new episode, I have some predictions and you should know, I’m a little bit psychic, so… just take it as fact.  so… SPOILER ALERT – these things will definitely happen! (also spoiler on the past epis, so just, you know, reader beware)

The Parallel Timelines

The bomb worked sort of and they have created a parallel existence.  This will be slightly confusing for everyone when they meet themselves, except for the Kates, who will promptly start getting it on with each other in the most watched episode yet.

Jacob/Man in Black

It appears Jacob is actually dead.  It would have been nice if we cared more who he was when he died, but now it is going to take Christian and Claire’s help to kill the smoke monster/man in black/john locke.  Turns out, all it takes is water.  Dammnit.  Afterwards everyone is pissed  no one remembered M. Night Shyamalin’s lamest twist ever and tried it sooner.  Also, ironic since they are on an island, folks.

Jack/Kate/Sawyer Love Triangle

You thought it was ridiculous before??  Well, everything is going to get super ridiculous when they meet their dual selves… Ready? keep up!  Sawyer #2 falls for Kate #2 on the plane, but Kate #2 falls in love with Island Jack, whose feeling for Juliette have flared up since she died.  But she’s still dead, sorry Island Jack.  Jack #2 falls for Island Kate, who has decided she is in love with Island Sawyer.  Island Sawyer decides he’s gay and in a shocking twist from J.J. Abrams, the whole final episode is Sawyer and Hurley getting it on.  The world collectively throws up a little.

Escape

Everyone will die on the island in their struggle to kill the man in black except Sun and Jin who are reunited and get to leave to go back to their baby, as shown in a touching montage set to either Gary Jules’s Mad World or Green Day Time of your Life. Possibly also Rose and Bernard will be allowed to live.  Kate will live but wont be able to see Aaron again.  Instead she will adopt and creepily mother a cat named Mr. Sprinkles.  Also Benjamin Linus lives, pissing off everyone who hates him.  So, everyone.

Lastly, I predict that Paulo and Nikki will rise from the dead to say a big “Fuck You” to everyone who complained about that episode.  Again, so, everyone.

Now that I’ve saved you some time on Tuesday nights, you can fill it by baking me cookies.  I prefer chocolate chip.  Oh, and you’re welcome.

Baby cussin’

So every so often, Sebastian will get really mad because you know, life is tragic, and he can’t stick his hands in his dirty diaper or lick the dogs eyeballs or whatever exciting thing he wants to do that I so meanly keep him from.  And so instead of crying, his little eyes will narrow and he’ll make a half grunty, meh sound.  My cousin calls it baby cussing and little Ash is proficient.  Are we surprised?  With me and Patrick for parents?  Oh, hells no!

Also, I obviously don’t want him to be sick but I do kind of like it when he coughs.  He prepares for each cough by opening his mouth really wide and sticking his tongue out before making the fakest sounding cough you ever have heard.  i lol every time.

dramatic baby, i love you.

Dog Blog Monday

This is my goggy and I less than three him.

also I should maybe clip his nails.

Dog Blog Oldy but Goody

Obviously this was taken last spring.  still.  too humiliating not to post.

Dear Beau,

I would respect you more if you looked like less of a mongloid.

xoxo – me

Not your mother’s nappies

I’m not sure how my parents named me Summer and didn’t expect me to be somewhat of a flower child.  And I am a part time hippy, at least in that I try not to wear a bra whenever I can get away with it, and I flirt with being a veggie when I’m not shoveling fistfuls of bacon in my face.  I don’t ask too much from life – just to change the world for the better…and one day be declared, along with my cat, supreme ruler presiding over a world in which hunger, war, and American Idol no longer exist. Oh, and for more bacon.  So I got this super expensive art degree and tried to work for a non-profit company.  A six figure income wouldn’t have hurt either.  Shockingly, none of this came to fruition.  World unchanged, paycheck, sadly lacking digits.  I mean, I have a fucking art degree, who could have seen that coming? Right?

Then I got knocked up and all of a sudden I had to do more than recycling cans and occasionally buying organic local arugula to ease my guilt about being middle class, white, and rocking living in the suburbs.  I was bringing a child into this world, an American child, and all the resources he would consume made my head spin.  I heard that each child raised in disposable diapers contributes one ton of waste (non-biodregadable) to landfills.  So I started looking into cloth diapers and somehow my line in the sand was drawn at disposable diapers. Oh, I’m sorry, it bothers you that I eat foie gras out of styrofoam containers which I throw out the window of my SUV while I’m idling down your street?  But I diaper in cloth, bitches!  How I got from changing the world to cloth diapers, I am not quite sure, but the two are kind of linked in my head now.  So here is the result of my hard work, and I’m not gonna lie, I think he looks, oh, adorable.  The only downside (beside the extra laundry) is that the diapers are so bulky they kind of give him old man pooch in the front.  Whatevs – how is this not the cutest thing ever?

He is modeling the Bum Genius 3.0 brand (on top) and Gro Baby (bottom) haha, get it, bottom?  Because it’s on his bottom…  facepalm.  I like both, the bum genius seem to be better at wicking the moisture away from him, so we use those for overnight.  The gro baby are really convenient because if it is just wet you can snap out the inner and reuse the cover.  Also the colors are cute.  We are still working out some kinks with the gro baby ones leaking but I think we are figuring it out.  This is me patting myself on the back because even if my plans for world domination fail I can always look back on his giant cloth diapered bum and smile.

Dear President Obama

So my 7 year old brothers class wrote letters to Obama.  I’m pretty sure I couldn’t have thought of anything better.

“If I were president, I would be a 3rd grader. I would make everything free because it costs to much. I wouln’t let people smoke and I would make sure there are no robbers because it’s not nice or good. I would make coke fountains.

I would let kids play frogger for 30 minutes so thier eyes won’t get bloodshot too much. I would let cats go to cat school because cats aren’t as smart as dogs and I like cats. I would only let adults drive kids because it’s not safe. I would make people invent 1 thing.

I would make sure kids slept for 10 hours because they’ll be ready for school. I would make school’s food free because it costs too much and we need food to survive. I would make every one an american person so they could be part of the country. I would let people have a 1,000 foot deep pool so they could swim better.”

I especially like that he’s trying to give cats a leg up.  If you’ve ever wondered why I’m obsessed with my brothers, case in point.

Dog Blog

Road Trip – 2 month old edition

So hubby and I are driving to MI to see family.  My grandma has not even met the little goober yet, so we are pretty excited.  You know what we are not excited about?  6 hour car trip with a 2 month old.  Allow me to convey exactly how I feel through this photo of Sebastian:

Fear not, I will be back on Monday for your dog blog update.  Any ideas for a MLK day theme?

(ps: FSIL has this as her phone background and we still lol every time she turns it on)

Dog Blog!

Oh you know I updated it! on a monday!

This is especially significant considering my schedule last night:

12am sleep

3am baby wakes up to eat, then back to sleep

430am Patrick starts yelling “OH NO, OH NO, OH NO!”

me:  Honey, everything is fine, you’re sleeping.

Patrick: zzzzz

me – unable to go back to sleep, up at 7 for work.

FUCK YOU SOMNILOQUY!